Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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