Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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