So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
