Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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