I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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