lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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