OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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