To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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