So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
