I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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