I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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