I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We're too hungover to prance.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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