just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
