just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize