the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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