I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
