I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
