Swine flu. Run for my life!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
