I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize