You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
