It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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