His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
