yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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