I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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