when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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