White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
did i walk over a car last night?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
