Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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