butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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