your parents love me but you hate me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
