New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize