I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize