i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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