Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Floor bacon is actually really good
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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