This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How external is "for external use only"?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
