I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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