I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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