I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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