I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
