there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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