This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
