We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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