Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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