the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
