Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
did you just send me my own nude
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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