Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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