You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
