You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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