I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
