Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
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Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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