make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
