i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
