need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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