gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
