omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Randomize
