I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
