HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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