Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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