Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
