Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You dont lie about slip and slides
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
