Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
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Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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