i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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