I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
