omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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