My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
