Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
