LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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