Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
