Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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