i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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