Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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