at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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