He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think i got beer on your cat.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
