If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
