Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
